CTI 14:21 2015-2016
Birthday: December 11th, 1990
Hometown: Economy, PA
Favorite Bible Passage: Jeremiah 31:3
Favorite Music: All Sons And Daughters, Big Daddy Weave, Vertical Church Band
Favorite Book: The Insanity of God, Divergent Series
Favorite Hobby/Pastime: Dyeing Fabric
Favorite Movie: Big Hero 6
Previous Life Work: Manager at Jimmy Johns
Roxy first heard about God at the age of six. After nine years of searching, she decided to follow Jesus at a church camp. Today, she’s graduated as a student of Technical Theater, having minored in music, and is excited to be serving with CTI this year as the sound tech. Fun fact: she was born hearing impaired. Besides music, she enjoys sci-fi TV shows, cooking, learning more about the Bible and the world we live in.
Roxy’s Blog Posts
Hope defined by the dictionary on Google is to have a desire to see something happen.
There are many things in this world that we can hope for: community, honesty, justice, compassion, love, stability, so on and so forth. These are all great things to hope for; but because of the sin that we face in the world, all of these things will fail us.
It’s a lesson that I am now starting to learn throughout this year (better late than never, right?). If I choose to hope in anything else but Jesus, it’s going to disappoint and I may become bitter, angry, and act sinfully in turn of the lost hope.
When I set my hope upon Jesus, it will never fail. Solely because the Lord (Holy Trinity: God the Father, Jesus the son, and the Holy Spirit) has never failed and will never fail.
But what does it look like to fully hope in the Lord?
To fully hope in the Lord means to have true faith that Jesus/the Trinity can do all things possible. To have faith means to put you whole trust, weight, and hope into something.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”– Hebrews 11:1 (emphasis me)
To have true hope in the Lord is not a simple task. Most likely, we won’t fully understand what true hope in the Lord will look like until we die and see Jesus in Heaven.
But that does not mean we have to wait until then to start learning. We’re able to have hope because the Lord is faithful to His promises. We see it throughout the whole Bible. Starting from Creation to a new Heaven and a new Earth being made.
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, where our forerunner, Jesus, has entered on our behalf. He has become a high priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek.”– Hebrews 6:19-20
A lot of life here at CTI (and being a missionary in general) consist of “rush and wait.” For the people who are free-flow in their plans and for those who like to have a scheduled order of events, this can be frustrating and enjoyable all at the same time.
I have felt like a lot of this year has been a lot of running around, very little waiting, and not catching my breath (figuratively most of the time but a few literal breaths as well). Eventually, the gas in my little engine runs dry and I am forced to stop working.
Here in Washington, we have been given that exact opportunity. Our morning have been “off” (as in we decide how to use our mornings). My mornings have consisted of working (whether on ministry work here or supporter projects for once we finish touring). Ours afternoons have consisted of working on team meetings and projects. Recently, I felt exhausted and we still had dinner and a workshop to run that evening. I was surprised what our team walked into next.
The church that was hosting us wanted to give us some time to really slow down and enjoy the moment. All eight of us sat under a canopy (imagine what a tail-gating tent looks like and you have the general idea), with lights strung around the perimeter, and had a multi-course meal served to us.
After all the courses were served out, they had a surprise for us. Home-made packages of each of our favorites snacks stated at the beginning of the year (some answers have changed and some have not…one of the few constants in life is change). Being a super-sensitive person, I almost started crying. My tears were not of sorrow or of joy but of being overwhelmed.
The detail into their meal, the decision to serve us, the ability to rest and relax with these wonderful people, the attention they took to getting just what they would imagine each of us wanting from our answers in our video. It was an out pour of love that was given in a short hour.
Just as the church showed an out-pour of love in a short amount of time in the little things of life, we must be reminded that the ultimate out-pour of love ever given was the love of Christ.
So sometimes, I need to remind myself to slow down, rest for a bit (and maybe catch my breath), and care about the little things in life as well as the big things.
Here are some of the details from that dinner.
When I was a kid, my mom tried to have me avoid eating the cookie dough by saying that since the eggs weren’t cooked, that I would get sick. It didn’t work. I ate the cookie dough but never got sick.
As I grew older, I was taught that to not be as open about my feelings/thoughts, as I naturally am, was better for society and myself. Again, I did not listen, but this time there were consequences.
I never experienced a stomach ache from being open, but the emotional pain (not being understood or valued from what I could see/feel), left me isolated, alone, and wanting to not share my thoughts or emotions to the world.
That is pride my friends and pride never gets us anywhere.
In John 12, Mary took some expensive perfume, pour it on Jesus’s feet and rubbed it in with her hair. For Mary, to do such a thing was to expose her brokenness to not only Jesus but to everyone at that party. She was mocked and looked down upon, but Jesus accepted her just as she was, selflessly open and raw.
Being open, raw, and vulnerable will always have a price. People may see you as a liability, look down at you, or even hurt you. Please know though, that even though you may see those effects, that true/positive impact can/will be made from being open in the right setting and the right time.
So I want to challenge you (myself included): pick one thing, anything that is of value to you that is kept hidden, share it with someone, and not expect to see an immediate result.
We all have a voice. Whether we use it or not is a different story. Our voices, or lack thereof, have influence over other people.
We can use our voice to encourage, challenge, or damage someone. Not only does each individual have their own voice, God and Satan have their own voices as well.
“But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me,
Reminding me of all the times I’ve tried before and failed.
The waves, they keep on telling me, time and time again,
“Boy, you’ll never win, you’ll never win….”
There are so many times in my life, including while being on tour, that I have listened to voices that are not of God: fear, anger, sadness, so on and so forth. I need to remind myself that the only voice that truly will give perspective is the Voice of Truth, God’s voice.
“But the voice of truth tells me a different story,
The voice of truth, says “Do not be afraid.”
And the voice of truth, says “This is for my glory.”
When I remind myself of such truth and act out on it, life may not be easier, but life is much more fuller when I do so.
“Out of all the voices calling out to me,
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.”
Taking some time while on a hike during our day off in New Mexico to enjoy what God spoke into creation.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began, and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.” 2nd Timothy 1:7-10
The lyrics in the blog are from Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns. You can go to here and listen to it.
Throughout our touring so far this full-time year, we are blessed with many things. One of those things are water bottles. Literally, people gives us cases or bags full of water bottles. These make the need to awkwardly fill our refillable water bottles/thermos at a bathroom sink, ask for a glass of water or buy a bottle of water less needed.
Water is something refreshing that we need. If we don’t drink water, we will get dehydrated…or even worse things will happen.
I have been blessed by the community on and off the road as well. We are surrounded by people all the time. It’s a true blessing to meet other people and spend time getting to know and encourage each other. Something that’s been cool so far this tour is that we have been living under the same roof. I have only had 2 nights that it hasn’t been the whole team under one roof. This precious time has developed to some really cool conversations and bonding moments.
One of those is when about half the team went to play spin the bottle. Now, hear me out before you start making any assumptions. This is not your typical spin the bottle. We decided to say one thing that we appreciate about the person on the other end on the bottle. This time was filled with many laughs, many re-spins, but it also was refreshing to hear how we positively change the team dynamic (just like how water refreshes us).
But if I’m honest, sometimes I forget to refresh myself spiritually. A bottle of water, an encouraging and challenging community, any place, or any task can only keep us refreshed for so long. Eventually, we will be in need again. If we find refreshment and sanctification in Jesus, than we will be fully satisfied and refreshed for what is ahead.
And while I aim to refresh myself in the Father daily, I hope that there will be another game of spin the bottle, maybe with some more options of what to say, in the future.
“Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will no longer thirst. Indeed the water I give them will come in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”-John 4:13-14